PREPOLENCY

Sometimes it is easy to know if you are not worth someone’s time because your efforts seem to be the prerequisite demands that often comes with complaining and whining about how inadequate your existence in one’s life is. In order to achieve the stage where you will never ever feel left behind and finally being accepted you need tossed away your own principle that seem to be contradicting with the society of what they seemed as to be normal. Hardships can come in many forms and often times you will find yourself grasping for air and stumbling apart because you were unable to contemplate and endure the pains and often times you will be begging of why must you, why now, why and what’s the difference even when this ends. Every opportunity that you received come with unavoidable price that you must decide well before you can actually be grateful because you often forgot that you are just a pinch of sand among infinite number of others that is being given the opportunity to be happy but with price of despair that will consume and eat you out until there is nothing left of you but the blurry thoughts of your existence. As you cried because of your own regrets you know deep down you are doing what’s right but at the same time you know you will no longer be happy. You often be mad and anger engulfs your judgment because that the only feeling that is residing are the negativity inside you since what’s left of your happiness has been taken away from you. The thoughts of actually being happy is just a dream that is passing through the path of disheartenment and often extirpate your very own effort to live. The dismay that you carry with you will remind you of your own grieves just to let you know how fucked up you are. Seeing the illusion of joviality in your dream while being dominated by the shadows that you have kept as your very own parallel identity.