SANITY

A day has been spent with brothers and friends. Joy, excitement, happiness, friendship, laughter overload. words were being sentenced to song. A song full with clarity, serenity and calmness. Those blissful moments when you can't interpret it by words but with actions. Sometimes, a heart failed to connect and communicate with a mind. So actions became a thought. Chose to not care but ended up cared. Chose not to over think but over-think. Chose to not like but liked. Don't want to look like a desperado, earned it. Struggling for a place in a heart, yet misguided. Wanted to ask but voices turned echos then silence instantly. Afraid of losing, yet failed to try to hold on. Wanted to be a great friend yet collapsed with a soul full with hopeless hopes. Starting to have faith yet afraid of the future. The words that i picked to form a sentence of prayer to be muttered, now have its own essence. Essence that has been gathered throughout years of searching. Rose and fell. Saints and sinners, breed in the same wombs. Yet lead a different paths. Numbed. A sinner that is too afraid to face and ask a saint for help, decided to go with the flow. Crumbled and stumbled. Face be fall on the core of the earth. Bones became burning steels. A sinner whom once do not care turned upside down. Attentions from the saints became priority to keep on standing and hoping. Don't want to be separated. Needy. Yet pretended to not to be. Addicted. Jealousy bit by bit engulf a weak and sorrow heart. Mind froze. Tried to trigger yet strengths cant be gained. Uncertainty and uneasy.