NEEDY

To be told by yourself that you will never get what you want. To be seen as the demon. To be seen only when helps were seek. To be seen only when disaster things occurred. To be seen when a friend is needy of to fill up their boring day just for a while. To be seen as the desperate ones. To be seen as the wrongdoer. To be told by heart that you've had enough. To be told by mind to stop over-think. To be told by body to stop hurting them. To be told by heart that a hole will always be one. To be told by mind that you aren't important. to be told by past that they will always cling back to you. To be told by present that you can't never have a place to redeem. To be told by future that you can't never see you in the future. To be told by the light that they wont help you or even take a glance at your hardwork. To be told by darkness that you will always be a part of them. To be seen as a mannequin. Those warnings that came, it's like being torn part by part. At the end you said " It's not you, it's me " Life of a needy person. Disastrous. A majestic world was provided by Him yet none place was being occupied and provided for you. It sickens me. You never know how hard it is to keep up to something that you can only see but can't never have. You are like  bubbles that being hit by waves tons of times yet keep on standing together. Yet it won't last long. I am now in a condition where happy, sad, dolor, emotionally damaged come together. I feel dead. A shadow of my present and past surrounded me trying to pull and push me. Bringing me down so that I can't never have any hopes. I love you yet words can't never I express without you noticing my presence. I became your shadow. Dear God, I have muttered thousands of prayers yet my prayers weren't as strong as I thought. Screaming inside. Dying inside. I am now emotionally damaged. People whom I used to know where are they. Some said love is made to not to be shown. BULLSHIT. Why is it with me that always need a person in my life that I tends to forget bout keeping myself happy?