REALITY

I guess when  you think of love, you'd come across with the thoughts of living happily together with your one and only lover. I don’t know how to say this, but seeing someone that I am longing to live with only makes me feel sadder than I am supposed to. Why is it you got to love someone that you know you won't be having the chance to live together in the end? Why is it love makes you think that you could actually live with the happiness in life that you could get? Why is it you fall in love with a person who isn’t right and just so wrong? When you had experienced so many phases of relationships, there will come a time you will feel noxious, you will learn to settle down with these demands of making you feel like you own it. When you know how is it feels like to have a person affect your life with just 3 words, positively or negatively, stay and left, and be there, but barely exist, you know just how painful to have such pain inside you. Love doesn’t count age, gender, religion or what? What else could we say? When you had experienced the sex, dramas, and so many more, you’d learn how to control it. Trust me. I can’t talk about love because I am not in love, I mean not in the way that I think is so real. I don’t think of it in that way. Sometimes, when you can’t accept the fact that you are no where near on getting your so called lover,you’d see the world unfairly. You are so fragile and ignorant of how the reality works. You will learn how to accept it someway somehow.  When you see someone you think you like, that’s when your other part says no that’s not the one. Sometimes, our thoughts, feelings and intentions do not move in the same parallel paths. We can’t work it out. Impossible. I solemnly think I am no good for any person. I can’t turn back time and rewrite everything. Dreams and nightmares, both can turn into reality. Don’t get things wrong. What am I supposed to do when my heart picks out the wrong person, my mind makes me think that it is okay, my feelings provide me with all these mixed signals whether to keep up with it or stop before I get hurt. I have gone too far.