What do you call a powerful being that tends to overrule the power of the misfortunes? You become more daring to question this particular entity as much as you question this entity’s true purpose. You came into the lost saint’s dreams and took him down as you let him feel the pleasure of being thrust with such enjoyment that none can feel the same way he feels. You have made your own choice when you started to open up more than you should. You became blunt. You tend to see this as something you’ve once done already. You are lacking of arms and weapons to fight. You let them see your other sides that you created to make them see you as devilish as possible because you enjoy on being hated in the way it made you feel just right. You hold up with full force and take down without any sense of humanity as you took the bits of trust and left with a pile of wanting and addictions. You conversed in a way that we would become one and left it the way you want it to be like. What if all this while, the thoughts after thoughts after thoughts after thoughts became nothing but just the routines he chose for you to do in order for you to help the other people to think of Him since not so many really do that anymore. You took an oath that you will never ever turn up or against anything if shits didn’t find you first. You embodied and sold yourself to the evil sides so that you could protect yourself from being one with the so called good vibes when the relevancy of them isn’t that realistic when only the chosen ones gets to feel the greatness of doing so. Your own dark pasts and at the same time true self are finally catching up to you. You tend to ignore it but beat it, you are losing the battle where the struggles that you put up to camouflage your true being and self reliance has finally reached to its end. The surroundings can't seem to hold you or shape you anymore when you tend to ignite the sparks of the side that will destroy your entire relationships with them when you were being possessed by some entity that is now controlling you. You laughed and smirks when the saints share their worries over you when all you see is a pity. Your affections and needs for that particular thing has reached to its peak point. You find it weird because you failed to manage tears whenever some situations really need or should’ve made you cry. Yet, your response has been just “oh okay.” When the prince starts to feel that he has shown too many sides of him that he should never show, that is the time for his master to chain him up and drag him into the forest of sights and reimbursement. The paths that he’s going to take shall change him into another being that will continue the legacy of destroying himself and the others around him. This shall continue on. Amen.
you are really struggling with the dilemma of being yourself, and be the one who you should be that is demanded by the society, aren't you? what can I say here is, yes, our society is fucked. yes, they force us to be the stream, to follow whatever they think that is right. and people like us, had to camouflage, hide the wings from the others. we are scared, anxious of the expectations. Don't be scared Haziq. You're not alone. but at least, don't hate them. They don't get you. Accept them first, then they'll accept you.
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