FALLS

                  I see you in my dreams sighing with disappointments when I presented myself in a way that I know would disgrace you. I jumped out of the conclusions that you didn’t love me as much as you love the others. I took the wrong paths and got stranded when the paths seemed too violent for me. I blamed you for giving me this test. I blamed you when you let me have the forbidden wants and needs. I blamed you when I see myself incapable of changing into someone I wish to become. I despised most of the things that have been brought up by the surroundings. Yet, I know you have your best upon the people who give their everything to you. I showed my agony just to let myself become more lost than ever. I see the impossibilities become the possible ones. Yet, I never have experienced such beauty and serenity. Sometimes, your choices in life will be depending on the surroundings. People in your life, your parents, friends, lovers, haters, and other aspects in life, such as your culture, religion, experiences, expectations, assumptions, second thoughts, perspectives, and many more make it harder for you to choose the best for yourself. I am worshipping the impossibilities of getting what seems to be awful and disgusting in the eyes of the so called you. 

                   All of the sufferings faced by the sinners seem to make the saints feel scared and afraid to do sins when the sinners had filled up the stranded paths of hell bounds. Once a saint who had done such forbidden sin when he had given himself to the satan to eat him out, prayed to Him for a repentance and ended his prayer with “ Amen.”, started to feel his body as if he was on fire and He had cursed him that He shall live among the humans as an example of the fallen angel who had lost His faith and trust. He has to live and experience such disgrace just because of his mistakes. Once a man lent out his hand offering a boy that he can go anywhere far away from the narrowed minded people, he had promised such incapable promises when he had failed the boy. He had made the boy think of things he wishes to accomplish yet unable to since he had put his faiths upon a human being when at the beginning of his life he has been taught that the freedom comes from the Call. Yet, with the agony that consumed the boy he with his experiences with the 7 deadly siblings stood up and screamed out loud towards the sky “ I have failed Your calls, with that you had given losses and wins and fails and falls just to show how powerful You are, so I thank You but no thank you.”,  and in the glimpse of of the holy light He had taken the boy and slammed him on top the earth as He ripped out his soul. Amen