CONCLUDING....

             I am just an ordinary person who exists in this world like someone else to fulfill certain needs and wants that keep me walking through the midst of the confusions and sanity. I am 20 years old now and I must say at this age, I have seen things that I can't comprehend. Someone asked me how my high school life was like, I cannot say a lot since I don’t find what I want in high school.

           I started out my high school in the year of 2008 and through my 2 years of being a high school student I can’t barely remember anything. When you can’t remember anything, you could conclude that you don’t have any precious moments during those 2 years. Still, when I was in form 3 I can still project thousands of replays in my mind, but I couldn’t find one that has truly stayed for me to cherish. Yes, I made quite a few friends, there are several that I can still remember the names and all. I have to admit I am not who I want to be or even exist when I was in my high school years. Through my life as a high school student, I was bombarded with a lot of insolent, rude, overly proud Malays, a not so great group of friends. Sorry, but I know my high school is something I can't be proud of or lets just say I chose to seal it away from me since it has no good for me. Apart from the teachers whom I am indebted to, I must say others were just side effects.

          At the end of my third year, I was introduced to the other side of the world. This is when I started to follow the models' lives. I see the other side of beauty that I chose to think of as pretty. When I made myself clear that I want to be like the models and all that was when I saw their true colors. I thought I was being westernized but to me, no I am not I still embody the origin values. Back in my high school years, I couldn’t see good friends, friends? Yes, I have some and I am still contacting them but I can count with my own fingers. But the other group, were they good? For me no they weren’t. They were much more of mockers, people who love to make fun of others and seeing themselves as if they were better than others. Because of them, I learnt on how to choose my loop of friends. Just because you love to smile, greet and being friendly or love to help others you are a wimp and a girly boy. How do you measure someones rudity? You cannot. But someone who had experienced the situation can measure it. It's funny because  they think are being funny and everything to them are jokes.

            To what extend I can say they were rude? Last year they visited me without me inviting them, but had too, since I was trying to be reasonably polite. Even when they were at my house, they were making fun of me showing off their rudeness and rude behaviors. At that time, I could only laugh and said to myself that I am letting these loops away from me and never try to reach upon them anymore longer. Yes, I am glad that I could find some of the best people back in high school and I will always remember you guys. People who supported me, I thank you guys. As soon as I realized I can find a lot better people out there and this incident was a mere shade of growing up, I can see clearer. For those who define friends as someone you could make fun of and without him/her getting mad, go on and carry that with you, but for me a friend is someone who will support you and never let you fall or even laugh behind your back.

            When I was in my foundation year, I thought I will never find these people anymore but I know that is impossible. You cannot separate what has been there as the culture of the society. But the impacts weren’t so strong upon me since I met a lot of great people rather than the deceitful ones. As time passes by, I started out my degree years and I have officially finished my first year of degree. My degree year had taught me to become more selfish and mature. I still have to deal with the rude type of people, but now I know I am better off without these vibes. I cannot conclude anything but I could only say no matter where you go these people will exist, but you can choose to either let them destroy or overcome them by being better than them. So, throughout my 5 years as a high school student, I can’t see any serenity but only dark clouds. This was because I met people who only know how to make fun of others who is slightly different from them, different in terms of thinking, perspectives and else.  

            It doesn’t matter if you are a saint, even if you pray 5 times a day, or perform every “sunat” prayers and devote yourself upon Him,  if your behavior towards people is just like a person without no faiths than you should start to think about what is the point of you doing all of those things. If you answer your relationship with Him matter the most you still need to take care of you relationship among humans. Note that.  If an atheist who doesn’t believe in anything can take care of his relationship with humans, why can’t you when you have your God and prophets to lead and guide you? Think before you act.Someone asked me to banish those memories and turn over a new leaf, I’ve done that, but I don’t want to throw away the bad ones because I could always use that as my reminder that I may not be better in the other way around but in terms of respect I am far off better than them. Sorry if I made some feel wounded, but if you feel wounded than that means you are among the people who I just described. Again, I am glad to have some good friends back in high school and I hope I can meet you guys. to those who i am becoming closer than ever, i am happy that He created you people and therefore I thanked God for that.