THE-ING

Throughout the time that you spent, you have put every bits of memoir for you to look back when you are old. As I sit alone in the bus on my way to the city of nothingness, I think of things that I have gone through. Not many people will know you like you know yourself. Once upon a time, there was a young man who let himself feeling amused by the beauty of being kind. As he grew up and eventually became a decent man, he finally realized no matter how kind you are to people, you need to be selfish and start to think of yourself. I have so many to write, about how people who has religion to guide them , but miss out the important part on being a person with religion, about the expectations and judgments came from the society, about the missing points on being a religious person and the flaws of the religion itself. I met Hope when I was dumped by Faith, as I get closer with Hope; I found out that Hope starts to talk me out to Expectations. I then start to live my life by living together with Expectations, but I realized I have made the wrong steps when I depend too much on Expectations, which lead me to devastation. Let me tell you one thing, it is true when they said people who has that many friends tend to be the loneliest person ever. What they do not know of is, a friend of theirs is sick. I have seen too many sickness, deaths, tragedies, incidents, accidents and lost of the will to live and survive. Every day in his life, he put on this mask so he can escape from being questioned by people. The minute you decide to open up your stories to your friends, that is when the mutual understanding and trust is being conversed. The minute you open up yourself to people that is when you know you are letting more knives than medications. He thinks of death more than he thinks of getting married. He thinks of Him more than he does actually think of his crush. He misses his Prophet more than he misses the time he spent with his loved ones. He never really tells anyone because he had made a person who does not give any shits about religions. People will say, “Oh if then why aren’t you praying? You fucking hypocrite.” He simply said he feels nothing when he performs because he feels empty, emptier than he already is. So he lives his life contemplating with his own strengths that he has gathered through his hard works. He is happy for himself because he does not go around judging others or question others actions just because he does the other way around. Not to say that he is a saint, but he simply shuts his mouth and try to be neutral as ever. People are fucking up themselves, he is, and everyone is. It is simple. In the end, the one who creates all of these must be a fucked up one too.