OLD

I woke up in the morning knowing that you won’t be by my side anymore and knowing that the routines that often include you will never repeat and the thoughts of moving on without you supporting me from my back really kills the inside of me that is gasping for freedom and protection. The constant reminder that I have to deal with whenever I’m doing things break every pieces that I have been trying to sew back. The constant need of being dependent upon someone slowly vanish into the midst that often cloud my views of seeing myself being independent. People who see me but never talk to me feels intimidated by my presence and knowing that I appear to be that way I took advantage of it. The things that I often hide and conceal from the reality really bugs me most of the time when I’m alone because that’s the only time I can finally take off my mask that I have been wearing just to satisfy and protect me from the howls of the narrow minded people. As open minded I think I am, deep down I am still in doubt of opening up to the world. The constant denial that I often channel towards myself has become the skin that I wear and often feel dead.